March, 2026 No 15

Tab's Talking

As promised, I’ll start with the book I’m reading at the moment. It’s called The Explosive Child (6th Edition): A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children).

I want to share a few key parts from it and link it to a support session I had last week.

On page 72, the author talks about having a planned approach to a support session — something that runs smoothly and is of real benefit to the client. He calls this Plan A.

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For me, Plan A looked like this:

- Get dressed

- Brush teeth

- Pack schoolbag

- Welcome the OT for a 1-hour session

- Drive to McDonald’s for a treat

- Then drop off at the school office

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The session was with a 10-year-old client I’ll call Aiden (not his real name), along with his mum and a visiting OT. Most of this plan was fine for Aiden — but he was not keen on the OT session. They challenge him (as they should), and after the long summer holiday break, I imagine going back to therapy probably felt like going back to work after leave. He was not cooperative.

So, we moved to Plan B.

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The book says:

“The only downside to Plan B is that, at least initially, it’s hard to do, primarily because many people haven’t had much practice with it.”

Plan B has three steps:

1. Empathy – Understanding what’s making it hard for the child to meet a particular

expectation.

2. Define Adult Concerns – Communicating your concerns or perspective about the

same issue.

3. Invitation – Working together toward a solution that is realistic and mutually

satisfactory.

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Beautiful in theory.

But Plan B was tricky in practice. Aiden is verbally limited at the best of times — and by now he was quite agitated. Life is about choosing your battles. So in this case, not wanting to push too hard too soon after the holidays, we bravely stepped away from Plan B and went to Emergency Plan C — which, in a nutshell, is a compromise that still keeps you moving in the right direction.

We didn’t give up entirely.

The OT tried to engage him with a familiar gym ball exercise, using his favourite toy cars to draw him in. But Aiden had other plans.

They were called: Mum’s silver phone. Mum had hidden her phone and said, “Work first, then off in Tabs’ car for a treat.” He wasn’t having it. He became loud and physical toward his mum. And there we were — three adults and one little boy who had completely lost his inner calm. The temperature in the room was rising. It was one of those moments where you realise books are wonderful and helpful… but on the front line, it’s not always that simple.

It was my first time meeting this OT, so I stayed in the background and observed. It became clear that the goal of social interaction and skill-building just wasn’t going to happen that day. Perhaps having three adults focused on him didn’t help. Perhaps it just felt like too much was being expected of him.

The last half hour became damage control rather than productive therapy. The one thing that did help was the Buzz Buddy — a vibrating oral motor tool. It gave his hands and mouth something else to focus on and helped bring a small level of regulation back into the space.

Win some, lose some.

A new plan was made for next time. We’ll use a whiteboard and write down a few simple tasks. Aiden can tick them off himself, step by step. When the final box is ticked — off to the big M we go. His mum, who knows him better than anyone, believes this will work because he’ll be able to see what’s ahead and know exactly where the finish line is.

And that, I think, is the heart of it. The book really is very good. It has some hidden jewels that are incredibly helpful in real-life situations — even if we sometimes have to adapt them in the moment.

Stay blest until next time.

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Love,

Tabs

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